Thursday, October 28, 2010

Six degrees

Tonight after dinner, Dan asked Seth to grab his bottle of vitamins from the bin that was on the counter nearby. Seth looked at him rather blankly and said "which bottle is it," at which point both of us said "it's the one that says Vitamins." ::sigh::

So he starts going through the bin and pulls out a bottle. "Anti-diarrhea," said he. Then he pulled out a big bottle of Ibuprofen, read the label silently, then tossed it back into the bin. "It's a white bottle," said Dan. Seth promptly pulled up a prescription bottle -- orange -- to which Dan said "It says VITAMINS on it." "I don't know which one it is. None of them say Vitamins." ::sigh:: I said "it might say One a Day or something on it." He responded, "none of them say Vitamins. " He then starting clicking off the bottles he found: "Ibuprofen." "Anti-diarrhea." "Menstrual Relief," said with a particularly sassy tone that promptly caused Dan to hop up from his chair, grab the right bottle and hold it up triumphantly in front of the boy. The boy responded, equally triumphantly "It says Central-Rite! Not Vitamins." Dan's response was a Father Knows Best "well, it starts with a V."

And that's when it started.

Seth: "Well, so does Ventricle."
Dan: "Ventilate."
Seth: "Vitreum. Yeah, I know chemistry stuff."

Dan didn't have a chance to regroup before Seth burst out with a loud "Ven-testicle." Proving that age old law of teenagedom: there are no more than six degrees of separation between a teenaged boy and a dirty, or pseudo-dirty, thought.

Friday, October 08, 2010

The playlist

We moved Jill into her new apartment yesterday, thanks to a psycho roommate and no help from the housing office, but oh well, she now has a permanent living situation. Drove four hours south in a U-Haul truck, then left for Maryland for a wedding. Thank heavens for iPods.

I remember the days of trying to find a radio station, only to be met with either a) static or b) twangy country music. I don't mind a small dose of country now and then, but I prefer a mix of stuff, hence: the iPod. I was late getting on the iPod wagon, but once I did, I filled it up in less than two weeks. I probably need a bigger one, but it'll do for now.

So we were listening to my mishmash of music, which can vary from Pavorotti to Different Drums of Ireland to Flo Rida and back again. I was cracking up in Louisville when Dan and Seth were jammin out to Shakira's "Whenever, Wherever." The girl is nuts with her dancing - more like a stripper than anything -- but listening to those two singing and watching their groove was hilarious.

Shortly afterward, we stopped at a rest stop, where Dan got the crazy notion to check the trunk for our bag. What made him do that, I'll never know, but within minutes, everyone around us knew that we didn't have our suitcase. And we were on our way to a wedding in Maryland. And that it was my fault. Never mind that I drove the U-Haul and he packed the car -- I've got big shoulders and I didn't care, cause it struck me as funny. Even if neither of us had clean underwear, socks, or toiletries. I still thought it was funny. So sue me.

Dan went on a little rant for several miles, while Seth kept repeating "it doesn't really matter, Leslie loves us and doesn't care what we wear to the wedding." Over and over and over. Seth is going to make a good psychiatrist someday, and it's times like this that make me realize WHY he wants to be one.

Dan calmed down when he wanted to - maybe half an hour later -- but I still was told later that I was going to be charged with reckless homicide when his butt got infected from wearing sweaty dirty underwear, and he died from the subsequent infection. Go figure. That man has some kinda imagination. I was still laughing when I went to bed. I guess that something about wearing the same clothes for four days just hits my funny bone, but I laughed for at least an hour after I woke up. It's a lesson in humility. Or maybe infection control