Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Make My Day

It's been a weird week here.  Twice this week I have been told by friends that I "inspire" them, and once I was told that I had a kind heart.  Whut.

See, I'm not used to this.  I read an essay in Elle this month that mentioned a luncheon they threw last year for outstanding women earlier this year.  Each "outstanding" woman was introduced and each, in turn, curled into herself, trying to make herself smaller, apparently not wanting the accolades.  This same essay asked the question -- when would you see a man do that?  Truth.

Our dietician at work is the sweetest young thing you'll ever meet.  She also, admittedly, has issues with asserting herself.  She will, as we call it, turn into a turtle, in that same attempt to make herself smaller, hoping that no one will attack.  We're working on teaching her to take her so-called "power" as a woman -- or as a human being.  She's young.  She'll get it.  In the meantime, we are all learning lessons in sweetness and kindness from her.  She inspires us.

So I guess I'll accept that idea that I have inspired a couple of people, however odd that seems to me. One friend texted me a photo of a painting I did for her.  It was a quick painting of quilt blocks, each one different -- and if you want to hurt your brain, try to think of 20 different patterns to paint on one canvas!  My brain hurt at the end of that, but it had stripes, dots, rabbits, bees, and more.  She, as a quilter, loved it, and it now sits in her quilting room and, by her own admission, inspires her.  The second inspiration accusation came from a friend who I paint with.  We're having a small dinner party on Saturday -- Italian themed -- after which we are going to paint.  Now trust me, said friend has a true GIFT when it comes to art.  She is talented.  How she came to decide that I inspire her, I don't know, but one thing I found when I started painting is that inspiration comes from all over the place, and frequently when we aren't even looking for it.  Slow down and enjoy life.

The kind heart accusation came from a co-worker, who talked with a former co-worker, who said that I am "good" for another co-worker (are you following that?) who suffered a stroke a year or so ago.  She's young -- 40 --- and has only minimal physical after effects from a stroke that should've killed her.  She does, however, have problems with processing and attention span.  She also is technologically challenged, and hey, I can help with that.  Apparently aforementioned co-workers think I work with her well and have a kind heart.  Wow.  I'll take that.

See, the thing I figure is this:  I've spent a lot of my life feeling broken and unworthy.  I've always known I'm intelligent, but inspiring?  No.  Kind?  Maybe.  I have a nurse's heart, and aren't all nurses called because they have a kind, compassionate heart.  I don't know, but I didn't necessarily feel it.  Well, I'm past 50 now, and I'm gonna accept what comes my way.  I think everyone should.
And if you have someone who inspires you, tell them.  You might just make their day.