One year later..........

It was Thanksgiving night last night when I got The Speech: "I don't love you, I never loved you, I never wanted to get married, and I never wanted all these responsibilities." Hmmmm......
The next day, it became, "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it, can you ever forgive me." Hmmm.......
So yeah, the holiday season sucked last year, till the last weekend in January, when he moved out for good. The divorce was final October 24th, at which point I fairly shouted "Free at last, free at last.......thank God Almighty, I'm free at last."

After almost a year of hurt (a lot), healing (a good start), and hilarity (at times), let's fast forward to this Thanksviging week. I've kind of been talking to someone -- as in a man -- and it's been nice. So, we are having an honest to God official date this weekend. As in, dinner. Yeah, 26 years off the market, and Mama's going out. So, what to do? Tell the kids, don't tell the kids? Heck, I don't know, cause it's just dinner, after all. They've certainly been through their share of drama and lies and stupidity this year, and I surely don't want to add anything to their plate, but it became apparent that I couldn't evade it this afternoon.

Jill asked if I wanted to go to the movies with her, her boyfriend and his family tomorrow. Just by happenstance, they are going out at the exact same time as I set up said going-out-with-a-man, so I said no, I was gonna go with my mom later this week (which, by the way, is completely true). She kept asking me why I didn't want to go, and why I didn't want to meet his family, and on and on and on, till I finally looked at her and said "what makes you think I don't have other plans?" She looked a little incredulous and said "what kind of plans?" "As in, plans." A few interrogations later, and very little information given to her, she pronounced that she was ok with it if Seth was ok with it, and how did he feel? He doesn't know, I told her, because I was debating if and when to tell them, because it's just dinner.

So tonight, Seth and I were out, and I mentioned that I wasn't going to be home for dinner tomorrow.
"How come" he said.
"I have plans."
"What kind of plans?"
"Dinner plans."
"With who?"
"A person."
"What person?"
"A person." ::gave him the look::
"Oooooh....." he said. "Who is he? What's his name?"
"You wouldn't believe me if I told you."
"What is he, Yugoslavian?"

That's my boy. Who apparently seems to be just fine with his mother going out on the town. I think.

How I know God exists

There are some who doubt the existence of God. I don't, and I will tell you a recent example of why.

I am a homecare nurse. I have a patient who lives alone and is confined to her bed. We will call her Pat (not her real name). I visit her nearly every day. She's a treasure -- a woman with serious health issues who has steadfast faith in God. She's amazing, and I just love her. We tease and harass each other all the time, but I really love her.

Last week, I went to see Pat. I walked in and the lights were off, her covers thrown off the bed, and the phone on the floor. Remember, she is bedbound, so she had no way to communicate with the outside world if that phone isn't within reach of her one good arm. It wasn't. I took one look at her and knew something was not right. "What's wrong," I asked her. Her reply was a weak "I'm sick." She looked like hell, quite frankly. We ended up sending her to the hospital, and within an hour, she was unresponsive. It's been a touch and go few days, but she's improving slowly, and it looks like she will make it. Thank God.

But you ask, why does this prove the existence of God? Let me tell you. Pat had called the agency that day to cancel my visit, as well as her aide's visit. She thought that she had caught a GI bug from her grandkids, and didn't want to expose us. I told her to never cancel your nurse when you're sick -- that's what we're here for. In either event, she tried to cancel me, but I never got the message. I even checked my voicemail later -- nothing.

I am watching over another patient -- we'll call her Amber -- while her nurse has a couple of weeks off. Amber gets a nurse visit one time every month, so I had her on my schedule for the next week, a month from her last visit. On the day this all happened, I was on my way to the other patient's house, when Amber's mom called, wondering where I was. Turned out that the regular nurse sets up the monthly appointment in advance but she didn't tell me, so mom was waiting for me, and I didn't know it. I asked the mom if she wanted me to go ahead and come -- hoping she'd say no, because I was almost to Pat's house, which is close to home for me. Going back would've meant a half hour drive one way, then the visit, the return trip to my patient's house, and me being late getting home. No, the mom decided to wait till the next day for the visit, so I went ahead to Pat's home. I ended up calling 911 for her.

What are the odds that I would not get the first message? Add to it that I didn't get the second message about Amber's prescheduled appointment, then add that the mom declined me coming late, and that's three strikes. If I had made that visit, I would've been at least an hour late to see Pat -- rememberm an hour after I got to her house on time, she was unresponsive in the ER. If I hadn't come in when I did, she would've been alone all evening, and who knows how it would've ended.

God works in mysterious ways, they say. I firmly believe that God put me Pat's house to save her life. Don't get me wrong -- this is not about anything I did. Not at all. It's about God using me for that patient, on that day. I am just a vessel. That's why I love being a nurse. And that's why I believe in God.