Monday, November 05, 2007

I Believe I Can't Fly

It's pretty well known by those close to me that I do NOT like to fly. I believe that God invented gravity with the specific idea of keeping ME planted firmly on earth. And I thank God every day for that. I really hate flying.

I have vague memories of my first flight, which was at the age of about 5. Basically, I remember running the the airport with my mom, and that's about it. We were going to Florida. I don't remember much else, except that people *dressed* to fly back then. You didn't get on a plane in jeans and a T shirt. Flying was an event, maybe once in a lifetime, and you dressed for events.

I dressed up to fly even into the 80s. I remember flying to a conference in San Diego with a couple of friends. Bought a beautiful white suit for the flight. I loved that suit. My friends thought I was nuts. Didn't see the point in dressing up to fly. I believe they were in jeans.

Now, dressing up for a flight involves making sure that I have my Xanax. Once a white knuckle flyer, I got over it for a while, but now I'm worse than ever. Had a full blown panic attack on a flight back from Seattle a couple of years ago, and haven't travelled sans my Vitamin X since.

Needless to say, I am not looking forward to flying to Texas next month. We're going with our church, on a medical mission trip. My own personal mission will be to not have a heart attack en route. A few years ago, we were flying back from San Diego with the kids. Hubby was sitting a little further up the way with the two younger kids, whilst I sat with the eldest toward the back of the plane. Coming down into Vegas, the plane took a BIG drop, very suddenly. Enough to make some people scream. Yep, I was one of 'em. DD said someone flew out of his seat, into the aisle, up where they were.

I grabbed ds's leg for dear life. He promptly pried it off and informed me that I was never, ever to touch his leg again. Yeah, he was in the wrong line when they gave out empathy. He thought the whole droppping out of the sky thing was great, and voiced his desire to do it again. I glared a hole in his brain and told him that he could be quiet. NOW. Of course, I was sure we'd be on CNN a little later, when the captain announced something about having a rough ride till we got to altitude.

At about that time, I could've used one of those diapers the astronauts use.

Our little family still thinks my fear of flying is funny, but I just take a Xanax, get out my boarding pass, and it's all good. Cause some of us are just meant to travel by land or by sea. And for those of you who prefer other miraculous modes of travel, check out this wild totally rad batwing sweater, straight outta the 80s, from Tribecca Vintage, on ebay. Cause, as Bill Blass always said, "when in doubt, wear red."

No comments: