Friday, July 25, 2008

Do you hear what I don't hear?

The Brat has bad ears. I'm not sure what line she was in when they handed out ears, but it was definitely not the right one, because her ears have given us fits since she was four months old. Three sets of tubes later, the girl still has bad ears.

A week and a half ago, she started complaining of a little pain when she touched in front of her ear. Two days of this, and I took her to the doctor. Now, The Brat is awful to doctors. We have the best, nicest doctor on earth, and she is just an evil beast to him. Refuses to speak to him when she's there. So I take her in, and she of course says her ear is fine, glares at the doctor, and never says another word. ::sigh:: Got her eardrops after he diagnosed swimmer's ear (she hadn't been swimming, but remember, her ears are rotten), and within two days, she was a mess. Up crying all night long, which means I was up all night long too.

My reminiscing of years gone by, when I would rock her to sleep during ear infections, fell on deaf ears. Literally, because she can't hear outta that ear. Totally deaf, she is. And draining nasty bloody yuck.

Thursday of last week, we saw our doc's partner. Our doctor was "on vacation," but the poor little guy was probably hiding in fear of the Evil Brat Hater Child. She actually decided that the partner is her new favorite person, because he told her not to go to work for a few days. At least she didn't bite him, even when she said that now she had a middle ear infection, and she needed to take Amoxicillin. Did I mention how evil she is about taking medicine. Took us two people to hold this child down for antibiotics, even when she was four months old. I mean, she is AWFUL.

So over the weekend, the situation went south. Like Chilean south. Constant pain, drainage, headache, sobbing, ice, heat, drugs, nothing helped. An awful time was had by all, trust me. Talked to the doctor, who said she had to get in before the appointment that we had with the ENT next week. Yeah, right, that's no joke.
Monday morning, I was on the phone, trying to get her in. Ended up getting her in with a crabby doctor -- a partner of my ENT, who is wonderful, but this woman was a total crab. Stuck a wick in her ear while The Brat is sobbing, and just tells her to "toughen up."

I'll toughen her up, right upside the head. We couldn't get out of there fast enough. Bratty didn't talk to her the whole time we were there -- not one single word -- and didn't speak a word until three hours after we got home. It wasn't pretty, especially when The Brat heard that we have to do drops three times a day.

Next day, she tries to refuse to do the drops, brother pins her, touches her ear by accident, and there was drama. You probably heard it where you were. Next time, her father went in one door of Seth's room and I went in the other, so she couldn't escape, but at least I got the drops in without her crying.

Next morning, her ear was the Bleeding Ear Of Doom. FULL of blood. ::sigh:: I called the doctor, and they made me talk to the bitchy doctor's nurse, who tried to guilt me into bringing her in. NO WAY I was taking her in. Heck, I wouldn't have even gotten her in the car if she knew we were seeing the hater woman again. I told her I really just wanted to know if it was normal, because she acted fine, and I got the old "if she was my daughter, I would want her seen, to see what's going on." "Well, ma'am, I'm a nurse, and I'm cool with waiting, and taking the chance of ending up in the ER," says me. And that's what I did.

She's finally turned the corner, went to work today, and feels good enough to crab at us, so we know that our Bratty Girl is back to normal, or at least on the way. No more Bleeding Ear Of Doom, but she does have an appointment next week with MY ENT, not the hater one. You'll know she's there when the earthquake starts.

And so, to answer the question, heat or ice on an ear that hurts, try this Eisenberg Ice Rhinestone Earring and Brooch set, from Material Memories, at Babylon Mall. That set will make those ears hurt so GOOD. And if you really want to know, ice or heat, it's whichever one feels best, just don't fall asleep on it and burn your ear or give yourself frostbite. And don't call me. I'll be catching up on 17 years of ear infection induced insomnia.


What-I-Found said... amaze me. Have you considered being a reality show?

laura said...

my own 17 yo recently had swimmer's ear. of course, she had been swimming in a neighborhood pool of the young children / toddler type who do pee in their swim trunks. there was a lot of drama there, but some left over antibiotics helped.

Her previous ailment was a urinary tract infection. She felt it coming on. But does she do anything to help herself. Drink extra water, have a glass of cranberry juice every morning. Heck, even empty her bladder as often as she can(she will not use a school restroom)? no. But she text me from school crying, and yes, that does come over on text messages. then complained when I picked her up at school, and cried all the way to the doctor, begging me to take her back to school, anywhere but the doctor. Once at the doc, she never opened her mouth. It's like pulling teeth. I swear I hate it! I'd rather give birth to a porcupine than have to deal with a female teenager when they do not feel good. (If she doesn't complain about something (anything) that hurts, is sore, aches, I'll ask her how her stomach, foot, knees, etc. feel and off we go. Growing pains were the worst. I was a hateful mother for not taking her to the doc (what sh she won't tell him where it hurts, or how it hurts, or anything?)

Yes, I know where you are coming from. The illness you can deal with, the stress these teenage girls emanate will make you buckle at the knees.

I enjoy your columns. I definitely relate.