Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Possum. And I'm not playin'

We have suddenly acquired a possum in our yard. This is not an easy feat, considering we live in a very urban, inner city area, but leave it to us to get a possum.

This fat thing showed up one night when Seth let the dogs out to do their business. He came running in the house, frantically looking for Jill's help, because Big Butt and Butthead were going nuts, whilst Rocky was, of course, oblivious to the entire thing because he is an idiot.

Next day, I was in the sunroom scanning patterns. It was about five o'clock or so -- broad daylight -- as I sat in front of the picture window, scanning away. Well, you know that feeling you get when something's just not right? I got that feeling, and looked out the window to see that that possum was eying me from on top of the fence, on the other side of the driveway. I mean EYEING me, like Louis Gossett, Jr and Richard Gere in "An Officer and a Gentleman." Creepy. Have you ever seen the claws on a possum? They are HUGE.

That possum sat there eyeing me for at least twenty minutes, even after the kids and the dogs came in the room and looked at him. We ordered Chinese, and long story short, Seth had to go out to pay the guy by going out the back door (maybe I'll tell that story tomorrow), went walking down the driveway right by that possum. Dan was cracking up, of course, and I was just hoping he didn't make it angry. Seth, as usual, was oblivious. When he came walking back up the driveway with the food, I was even more concerned, so I said "hey Seth, look to your left." He about jumped outta his skin when he realized that the possum was only about three feet from his head.

We've seen the critter off and on since, always on the fence. I haven't seen him in a while, but the kids have, so I'm always nervous letting the dogs out, especially at night. He kind of disappeared for a couple of days, so I thought maybe he was gone but oh no, he decided to appear today. Today. The day that the guys came to strip the hardwoods, and the dogs had to stay in Seth's room for the day. Seth's room -- the closest room to the fence. And the dogs saw him sitting there for the longest, till he ambled up the tree in the neighbor's yard, which I had suspected all along was his home.

Have you ever heard dogs going crazy over a possum? Three dogs? Try adding that to the sound of a pneumatic nail gun, a huge circular sander, a table saw, and several hammers, and that's how I spent my morning. My head is still pounding from the mayhem. And I get to do it all again tomorrow, since the floors still aren't done yet. So if anyone knows a good way to get rid of a gangsta possum from the ghetto, please let me know. Guns are not permitted, lest Jill throw herself between the gun and the possum, but I'm open for ideas. No dogs allowed.


What-I-Found said...

Uh, honey...I don't know how to break this to you, but possums pretty much only come out at night. So I think you're looking at a really BIG rat.
I'm just sayin'.

Vintage Sue said...

Just wanted you to know how much I LOVE reading your posts! XOX

P.S. There's a phat possum that waddles down my neighbor's driveway directly across from my bedroom window every stinking night, driving my dog mental. They are master torturers.

Lisa said...

Nope, Tina. We've seen this thing close up, and it's definitely a possum. It's wandered across the yard a couple of times during the day, too, but it's not a rat. I think it's either sick, a pregnant insomniac, or just very "special."

What-I-Found said...

Or rabid.
Be careful out there!

Kim@ Fast Eddie's Retro Rags said...

Well, there's always the possibility of possum stew. Also: I loathe yard critters, so I feel yer pain. And also: that pattern is so cute I could kill a possum.

Anonymous said...

OK, I now have a possum looking in at us from our glass doors..both doors. My golden goes crazy, and this possum just watches, unafraid of either of us. The possum has come to both back door and deck door. I am less than thrilled with this new visitor. how do I make it go away fearing a confrontation in the yard between my pal golden retriever and this uninvited pest???