Sunday, November 24, 2013

Empress of the Universe

We were watching the History Channel yesterday.  It was a program about the Ming Dynasty, and some Chinese Emperor, who was purportedly considered to be both the best and the worst ruler in Chinese history.  Among many details they reported was how he picked his concubines, and the rules surrounding them.

It would seem that the concubines didn't make many moves that didn't involve the eunuchs.  They had to report illnesses to the eunuchs, who took the information to the head eunuch, who decided if they would call a doctor.  If they did, the doctor had to be escorted into the palace by eunuchs, and then they had to have a couple of female escorts when the doctor did the exam.  All so the emperor could have his concubines to himself.

Eventually, he fell in love with one of the concubines, and made her the empress.  This made her very, very rich, and her family was given great riches as well.  Eventually, the emperor got old and died, at which point the empress and fifteen of his favorite concubines committed suicide.

That's all kind of crazy.

This got me thinking:  Jim calls me the Empress of the Universe.  Occasionally, he slips and calls me his queen, but he is reminded that that's a big no-no, cause that's what the ex called me .  It's definitely a no-no, so he has taken me as the Empress.  Of the Universe, no less.  Seth was sitting at the kitchen table when I announced that, as Empress of the Universe, I would require eunuchs.

At which point Seth announced quite firmly, "I'm out."  I laughed harder than Empress Protocol probably allows.

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