Some people are just really stupid. I'm sorry, but it's the honest truth. And I've taken care of a lot of them.
One time when we lived in Florida, I got a new admission in the ICU. Something new: a rattlesnake bite. I'd never taken care of a patient with a rattlesnake bite before. I went in to do an initial assessment on him -- this guy's arm was at least three times its normal size. It was a sight to see, believe me.
I'm a chatty person. OK, so I talk too much, but it helps a bit, when you're a nurse. You find out all kinds of things if you know how to talk to people. One time, the neighborhood hottie was at our house. He ended up staying for 2 1/2 hours, telling me everything from his middle name to how he almost got arrested, to how he duct taped a kid to the flagpole at school. DD asked, "how in the world did you get him to tell you all that?" It's my job, ma'am.
So, I was talking to my patient whilst I settled him in. He was from Tennessee, and had an accent to prove it. We got to talking, and I asked him how in the world he got a rattlesnake bite on his thumb. Here's what he said:
::imagine slow Tennessee drawl::
"I was walking down the road to my cousins, and I saw this ole rattlesnake, just lyin' there, so I decided to take it and show it to my cousin. Picked it up, and it bit me, right on the thumb."
I asked, "What'd you do next?"
Reply: "I kilt it with a rock."
Me: "Well, then what'd you do?"
Einstein: "Took it and showed it to my cousin."
OYE. That guy probably has a whole bevy of children who all look like him by now.