A double scoop of yucky

When Dan and I lived in Florida, in the years BC (Before Children), we used to frequent Larry's Ice Cream. We went regularly to a place in Bradenton, then when we moved to Orlando, we'd go to on in the mall there.

It's the only place that we ever found Almond Joy ice cream. That stuff was heaven on earth: coconut, a little chocolate, and almonds, in vanilla ice cream. It lost a little when they went low fat, just proving my friend's mantra of "low fat, no fat, no way," but it didn't stop us from eating the stuff at every opportunity. When we moved back to Indianapolis, we bought a Larry's T shirt for our then-baby, Thomas, and tried to figure out how to have it shipped up here. That Almond Joy ice cream still makes my mouth water, just at the thought of it.

I thought maybe I'd found something close a few years back, at Ben and Jerry's. I can't remember what the name of it was, and it wasn't perfect, but it was pretty good, compared to anything else I'd tasted since Florida. Ben and Jerry's is way out of the way for us though, since it's way up on the northside of Indianapolis, so I never tried it again. And if they take PETA's suggestion, I never will.

I read on CNN today that PETA has asked the proudly left of center Ben and Jerry's to substitute their cow's milk with "human" aka breast milk. Now folks, I am a proponent of breastfeeding, and nursed each of my kids for periods of time varying from 3 to 7 months, but let me tell you, I never once considered churning the hard earned products of lactation into frozen treats.

PETA's stance is that it will decrease the suffering of the cows and their offspring. WTH is that about? Jill's an animal rights person, and even SHE thinks the concept is nasty. And what about the suffering of the lactating women? Would this spur men to try hormone therapy, so they can have their own flavor? And more importantly, what would they name the stuff?

Ben and Jerry's is known for their creative names, like Cherry Garcia, Half Baked, and Chunky Monkey. What does one name an ice cream that has breast milk in it? Boob-berry? Tit-illating Tundra? Tit-ti Fritti? Rocky Nipple? I mean, come on folks, really. They could have fun with it, even if they never sold a scoop, and the PR would even send them through the roof or kill 'em, but they could handle it. They are hippies, after all.

Me, personally, I'll stick with my search for Larry's Almond Joy, but will have to settle for Baskin Robbins, where I usually stick with something boring like butter pecan, or chocolate chip. And if you're with me, grab this vintage Baskin Robbins shirt, from Pop-a-licious Vintage Select, on ebay.