Wednesday, January 07, 2009

The Battle Between Good and Evil


The Spare to the Throne got his braces yesterday. None too thrilled about it beforehand, he seems to be holding up better than his father did, if you remember the whole turkey sandwich smoothie debacle. Of course, it's early in the game, but the poor child has been warned so much by the entire family that he may just sail through this thing unscathed. All the kid has heard now for over a week has been "your teeth are gonna HURT." We'll see what the day brings, I suppose, but this kid has, shall we say, no desire to feel pain anytime in this lifetime. Ever.

The Bratty Girl has already been leading him down the path of unrighteousness. The orthodontist gives tickets out for good dental hygeine, meaning good brushing, of course. Jill tells this boy, "oh, don't worry about it, just brush your teeth three times in a row before your appointment. They'll never know the difference. That's what I did." And this brat always got the excellent brushing tickets. ::sigh:: She's a scammer, that one.

Then I caught all three of them, The Heir, The Spare, and The Brat, having a powwow in his room a couple of days ago. Deep in conversation, and without anyone screaming, mind you. This of course makes the mother worry, so I wandered in to see what was going on. The Brat had, after all, just told me the night before that we needed to have "The Talk" with her younger brother because, as she said, "he has gotten all of his information from Chris, so you just know it's gotta be messed up." Chris, incidentally, is his BFF, who does indeed, have his moments of early teenaged goofiness, so she might just be right. Oye and vay.

So the three of them are all in there, discussing what you are told what not to eat with braces, and what you really can eat with braces. "I had candy all the time," says the big brother. "You can't have gum, though, right," replies the youngest. "I did," said the beastie girl, who is, after all, determined to ruin her brother's teeth, or at least his relationship with his dental caregivers. Sweet after sweet they listed, and each one they declared perfectly acceptable, "no matter what they tell you." They, of course, not only meant the orthodontist and his staff, but also the parents, who coughed up the cash for this little endeavor.

"You'll get yelled at when you go for your appointment," I threatened, in the hopes of salvaging something here. Jill declared "I never got yelled at once, and remember all those tickets I got?" Seth tilted his head and gave her a look of deep thought, then nodded his head. This kid, who is the one who likes to follow the rules and keep the peace, has just been taken down by none other than his sister, a Sagittarian who, like her papa before her, likes to have one toe over the line and his older brother, who stood there silently, nodding agreement with a look of "listen to her dude, she knows of what she speaks" on his face. I stood there in his bedroom, complete with clean clothes on the dusty TV, dirty socks scattered on the floor, dog sleeping on the bed that has, incidentally, no sheet on the mattress, because the clean sheet balled up at the foot of the bed, since he has decided to sleep sans sheets......well, I digress, but you get the picture.

I stood there and watched the ruination of a young man in one fell swoop, and has his siblings to blame. Heck, he probably got a cavity just listening to this whole travesty of dental hygiene. Time will tell. And just to show off the inner turmoil going on when he REALLY wants a Snickers bar, but the angel on his shoulder says "don't do it, boy, don't do it," is this cool vintage halter dress, from Designer Exposure. Kinda pricey, but cheaper than braces, and information shared between a boy and his siblings? Priceless.