Friday, August 22, 2008
Living in Amish Paradise
Thomas went back to school last weekend. Took his time getting there, cause he wanted to make a little extra cash on his way out the door, but he finally arrived around 8pm or so Sunday night.
He's pretty happy, because he's in a newly renovated dorm, so everything is clean and shiny, the rooms are suites, and the school actually provided them not only a microwave and fridge, but a 32" flat screen Vizio TV. He's elated about the TV, and Dan of course just keeps asking "how much extra are we paying for that, anyway?"
Compared to last year, he's doing pretty good, because last year's room was in a room they call "The Prison," because it's old and ratty. Total difference this year, although not all of the constructions is done yet. He didn't get put with his roommate from last year, but they're moving in two weeks, as soon as school will let them, because his roomie hates the party boy they put him with. He told Thomas that if he hears sirens, don't worry, it's just him putting his roommate straight. Let's hope it doesn't come to that.
So before we left, I went through the mother's checklist: "do you have [insert article of choice here]?" He got offended at me rattling off my interrogation -- sheets? pillow? toothbrush?" "I'm not a baby, Mother," he said. "I'm not an idiot." I finally gave up trying, but wasn't surprised when we arrived at school and he sheepishly admitted that he had no towels, washcloths, or soap.
I just gave him the "I told you so" look that he'd best get used to, should he ever get married one day, and kept my mouth shut while I drove him to Walmart.
I emailed him the next day to see how he was doing, and he emailed back to say that they didn't have any phones or internet in the dorm yet. Oh my! I'm not sure how the kid is surviving, especially considering he has no cell phone -- did I mention that he left it in a cab in Chicago during the fateful Lollapalooza trip? Oh, and he has no debit card either, because he lost it at the beginning of the summer, ordered a new one, and lost that one practically the minute he opened the envelope -- which was later found in the leather couch of doom, sans card. After the Netflix/couch debacle, I won't even look there for it, and since Thomas was too embarrassed to order another card, he is out of luck at school.
Yep, Thomas has gone Amish, if only for a week or two, till the construction's done. Now if all of the female population could go away, he might actually get some studying done.
All of his Amish-ness got me thinking of Weird Al, especially after I heard "Gangster Paradise" blaring across the parking lot at Marsh. Brought Weird Al's version of Amish Paradise to mind, so I went looking for something equally Amish to share with you, and came across this Don't Drink and Drive T shirt from Crazy Dog T Shirts, on the bay. Kinda looks more like Pilgrims than Amish, but the message is clear -- Drink, and your mama won't Drive to pick you up for the weekend. Heck, she might not even let you live. But she'll bury you with a towel, a debit card, and a cell phone.