Santa Claus with a crack pipe

Well, I guess the camping trip was a success. No one set themself
on fire, and the only one who came back worse for the wear was Dan, who tried to be a hero and go mountain biking with the guys. Let's just say it wasn't as bad as his worst mountain biking accident, but his right side ain't looking real pretty.

I'm not sure that you can properly use the term mountain biking in Indiana, but you know, if it strokes the old guys' egos, we'll just roll with it.

I guess on the last day, Jill decided to go horseback riding at the saddle barn. She's nosy, because she wanted to compare with the stable where she works, and see how well they care for the horses, how well they lead, etc. That is, of course, because she's competitive, even with a barn that's over an hour from where she works. She couldn't get anyone to go with her but the Outlaw Josie Wales, who now was rather torn up by road rash, but hey, at least he went.

She said she'd checked out the stable the day before, and the guy working there was a little "overly nice," and looked like "Santa Claus with a crack pipe." Huh???????
"You know, mom, a crack pipe." I'm thinking she might've meant a regular pipe, cause I'm hoping she's never seen the real deal, but I just let it go. She said that she was hoping that he wasn't going to lead their ride when they finally went out on Sunday, "but who did we get? Santa Claus with a crack pipe."

On a horse, no less. Picture that, cause it really gave me a giggle, but that could be the fact that I haven't slept more than 15 hours since Friday. Cause when the cat's away, this mouse stays up and gets stuff done, like listing patterns and reading O magazine, and taking the Heir to the Throne out to dinner, then watching The Birdcage with him -- a hilariously funny movie that somehow my film-o-phile son had never seen.

I guess there's some kind of irony of my watching a movie about drag queens and conservative Republicans, whilst the Outlaw Josie Wales is trailing Santa Claus with a crack pipe, but if you haven't figured out by now that that's how things roll around here well, you need more help than I can really offer today.

But in case the Santa Claus with a Crack Pipe interests you, then just try finding it on the internet. Closest thing I could find is this digital download of Santa Claus sucking some Coke. It's from Heirloom Stitchery, on Main Street Mall Online.