Saturday, March 24, 2007

Disease, pestilence, and all that rots

I sit here typing this, watching SNL to the sound of two of my children's hacking coughs. In harmony. With me joining in on the chorus. Yep, our house is diseased.

I hate being sick. I took last weekend off so that I could be home when hubby got back from Mexico -- in case he brought a souvenir of Montezuma with him. He came home healthy and the next day, I got sick. Went down like a rock. Fever, chills, coughing -- man, I was SICK.

Went to Immediate Care and lied enough about my symptoms to get what I wanted -- antibiotics in case it WASN'T viral, so I could get to work this weekend. Yeah, never have a triage nurse as an Immediate Care patient -- we definitely know what to say in order to get the goods, but I got what I wanted and I don't feel bad about embellishing a little bit. Went home, went to bed and died. Next morning, I woke up realizing that the back of my head was sore from laying in the same position so long.

Realized it, then rolled over and went back to sleep for two more hours. That was the best sleep ever, next to a coma. Man oh man, I was in bed half the week, but I feel better now.

Of course, now two of the brats have it. DS can't be too sick -- he's hacking and coughing, but he's fine -- he's still playing City of Heroes, and hasn't missed a beat. Rule #1: the kid's not sick till he's not on the computer.

DD is hacking and coughing, and still has a temp. Stuffy and just a mess. She didn't go to the barn yesterday, so yeah, SHE's sick. Rule #2: the kid must be sick if she doesn't want to play in the dirt.

DH swears he won't get it. Thumping his chest, he declares that "you wouldn't have gotten it either, but you don't eat as well as I do/take your vitamins every day/have an active job/moisturize every day." Ok, the last one, I made up, but you get my drift. Rule #3: we will ALL laugh at the hubby when he gets sick.

Then we will leave the house because, as dd says, he is the world's worst sick person. Awful. So yeah, vengeance is mine, if he gets sick, and then I'm out the door.

And so here, in honor of disease, pestilence, and all the ills us, is a 40s rhinestone studded dress, from Vintage Devotion, on ebay. She's got some seriously beautiful stuff, but this one is a perfect depiction of my week. The rhinestones are done in the motif of the little viral particles floating around my house right now. The studded part makes me think of the dh. The chocolate brown makes me think of his choc-aholism. And black is the color of the flag that'll be hanging in front on my house if he gets sick, cause he's always sure he's gonna die with the first sniffle. And the Miss Mrs tag is for the dd and myself -- who will be driving madly away from the house as fast as we can, before his first Kleenex hits the trashcan.

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