Snakes in a Bed

You know, some days, the whole world is off their meds. Truly. Today was one of those days. Yesterday? That was Va-J-J Day, as Oprah would say, cause everyone wanted to talk about their bits and pieces. Today, the entire world was off their meds.

Case in point: "Lisa, I have a red flag call. This lady got bitten by a snake."

In Indiana. In 30 degree weather. "How in the world did that happen?" "I don't know, she said she was in her bed, and got bitten by a snake."

That was the first clue. But when she started telling me about these snakes -- not pets, "they just came in here" -- I figured what was up. "What color are they?" "Oh, all colors, green and brown, and black and brown, and..." LOUD SQUEAL "ooooh here one comes after me now, see it?"

Um, no, cause we were on the phone.

I'm sorry, but when that's the first call of the day, you just know how things are gonna go for the rest of the night. When the first call is a sex call, then you're gonna be hearing too much information all night. And when the first one is off their meds, well, everyone is.

So, what'd I do? She was running through the house, being chased, so I said "why don't you go outside so you are away from them, and then call and have someone take you to the hospital?" She was more than happy to agree, and hung up to call her daughter. Who hopefully stopped at the pharmacy on the way to her mom's house.

So, yeah, I know it's not funny, but when you talk to all the people I do, you have to have a little giggle now and again. So I went in and told my boss that I needed a few weeks off, to work on Samuel L Jackson's next movie: Snakes in a Bed. Haven't worked out the whole plot yet, but there has to be a triage nurse in there somewhere.
And the ending? The snakes end up as this cute little snake wallet, from The Purse Diva, one of my favorite sellers. Still haven't figured out how to fit into her wonderful red carpet dress, but I'm still working on that one!