Getting Married, Commando Style

I've mentioned here before that the road to our wedding day was fraught with potholes. Among other things, I virtually totalled our car the day before. On the way to find my lost wedding dress (another story entirely), I got lost in the ghetto.

I remember that the theme song from Beverly Hills Cop 2 was on the radio. I was laughing at my friend, a bridesmaid, who was not willing to stop for directions. Started to pull through the intersection, but couldn't see, because a car was parked illegally on the corner. BAM! Got T boned in my brand new car.

I buried my head in the steering wheel and cried. Friend says "get out of the car." "NO." "Get OUT OF THE CAR. People are watching and they think there's something wrong with you." "It's the worst day of my life, I can cry if I want to, and I'm NOT getting out of the car."

I finally did.

Turns out the guy who hit us was driving his girlfriend's (uninsured) car, was speeding, and was pretty well lit. At 2 in the afternoon. Maybe I should've been too, as I sat on the curb and looked at the remains of my car -- not knowing where my wedding dress was. Drunk guy came over to console me, saying "it's ok, honey, I'm sure he'll still marry you." Then looked at his car and said "S**t." Several times. Then pats me on the shoulder. "It's ok, I'm sure he'll marry you."

The next day, dad pulled me aside and asked "are you sure that you should do this? Maybe all of this is a sign." Sure Dad, I'm sure, I said. Went in to get dressed, and realized that my brand new, wedding underwear was way too small. Of course, I didn't realize this till after I was already dressed, and I was NOT going to undress again to get them off, but you can't wear a $600 dress with underwear that's too small. So, we pulled my hose part of the way down, and chopped them off. Eleven dollar underwear, in shreds.

My mom walked in in the midst of this. Imagine: your baby child's wedding day, and your first view of her in her wedding dress is of her getting her underwear cut off.
I'm sure it's a memory she'll never forget.

Our wedding night was equally eventful, with the best man calling our room, looking for his car keys. ::sigh:: But that's another story.