Sunday, September 03, 2006

Hickory dickory dock, the mouse ran.....where?

Ok, I am a nurse. I take phone calls from people with medical questions. I've been doing it for several years, and it can be pretty darn boring, most days. I talk to people about vomiting, on average, probably every half hour when I am at work. Coughs, colds, name it, I've talked to someone about it. I could probably do it in my sleep, but it's really important to treat each person like it's the first time you've ever heard of someone vomiting, so you don't miss anything. But once in a while, we get something that really makes you think that the world has gone mad.

Take the other night, for instance. Another co-worker got a call from a patient who said that she had fallen asleep on the floor, in front of the TV. Slept for maybe a half an hour. Woke up from her siesta and discovers, to her dismay, that a mouse has gotten into a very private part of her anatomy. Wants to know if it is possible for a mouse to get into said area. Nurse assures her that, unless it was PUT there, it can't just climb there. Incredulous patient asks repeatedly for assurance that it couldn't get there, because she is positive that she has a mouse in her privates. Ten minutes later, the nurse hangs up, shaking her head, still sure that she failed to convince the patient that she does not have a rodent inside her.

Makes you wonder just what in the world she was watching, before she fell asleep. If you have suggestions, please let me know.

And just for the record, no, you cannot get a mouse in your stuff unless someone puts it there.