I Married a Teenage Polygamist

My dd is married. Actually, she is married three times. I don't mean was married, I mean she currently has three husbands.

She's 15.

Lest you think that we live in Kentucky, let me explain. Her idea is that she needs at least three husbands: a hot one who loves horses, a hot one with an accent, and one who is just plain hot.

Her first husband is Jensen Ackles. He's on a TV show, which shall remain nameless. Suffice it to say, we just call it "The Hot Guy Show" at our house. Matter of fact, most days, I don't think anyone knows its real name. I'm pretty sure even the hubby calls it that now. DD sits glued to the TV for her weekly visitation with her #1 hubby, and making disparaging remarks about any female cast member who happens to show up.

#2 husband currently is the guy from Ella Enchanted. I can't remember his name, and I'm not sure she can pronounce it, but "when the guy has an accent that hot, who cares?"

#3 husband changes from time to time. It was the guy from 16 Candles, who is, as she says, as old as dirt. After all, "he is as old as Dad." Sometimes she dumps him for the guy from Pride and Prejudice, or for Matthew Fox, from LOST. Gotta keep the options open. She is only 15, you know.

Then, of course, she has the infamous Andrew Day. He is generally known as Andrew Day at our house, not just Andrew. (One time last summer I tried calling him Andrew, and she didn't know who I was talking about.) He's the neighborhood hottie that she has pined for every summer for the past three years. Of course, this is the first year they've had a real conversation: the first year, she just looked at him. Last year she stood there whilst he talked to me. This year, she actually spoke -- and he spoke back. For about five full minutes. At this rate, I tell her, they'll be married when they're 90.

But then again, she may have to drop a husband or two to fit him in -- unless he has horses or a hot accent. He probably wouldn't want to be #3, lest he be voted off the island. Unless he asks the dd if she will cook meat for a carnivore husband, she look at him like he's nuts and says "I'm not cooking. He will cook for ME."

My kind of girl.