Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Sticks and stones won't break your bones, but granny panties will

Sometimes a caller just makes me laugh. One night, I answered the phone, and heard a girl's voice on the other end of the line. She can't be more than twenty, tops. "I think," she says, "my roommate just broke her toe." The caller is giggling whilst giving me name, age, and serial number of her friend. I'm wondering what the heck is going on, till she tells me the story.

Turns out the roommate can't come to the phone, because she can't walk. Half an hour or so before, she fell, went crashing into the dresser, and hurt her foot. She is now on the bed, foot up on a pillow, in severe pain. They've iced it, elevated it, you name it -- but it still hurts like you know what. (Truth be told, they may have had a shot or two of tequila, trying to squelch the pain, but I didn't ask. Don't ask, don't tell, you know.)

So I ask the caller, how did she manage to fall into the dresser? "She was getting dressed," she replies. I'm trying to get a visual on this, when the roommate says, "you know, she wears granny panties. I keep telling her, wear a thong, they are so much better, but she insists on wearing those granny panties. So tonight, she's getting dressed, and gets her foot caught in those panties, loses her balance, and now she has probably broken her toe. She's gonna have to tell them in the ER that she broke her toe cause she wore granny panties, and that's just wrong."

I couldn't agree more.

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