Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Things start looking up

OK, so we finally arrive at the cabin, amazingly, without any arguments about navigation. This is nothing short of a miracle, because our arguments about navigation, or lack thereof, are legendary amongst our kids. Dan just flat doesn't navigate. His version of navigation, though he'd beg to differ, is to study the map like it's the bar exam, then let me know that the exit I needed was two exits ago, and why didn't I take it?

This does not go over well, to say the least.

I decided when the kids were young, that they would learn to navigate, so their spouse can't blame me someday. I'd make them navigate me home from wherever we were. I even had Thomas navigate me through Chicago one time, during Taste of Chicago. "Turn right. Turn left, turn right. Elvis."

What in the world? Turned out yep, an Elvis impersonator was standing at the corner we were at, on Michigan Avenue, in Chicago, complete with white jumpsuit. Crazy, but really, this kind of weirdness happens to us all the time. It's not like I could make it up.

Teaching the kids to navigate has actually paid off, because my kids can get all over the place, most days, without getting too lost. So we got to the cabin without getting lost, and it was a proud moment for the kids, I suppose. We didn't even stop at the Food Lion to shop, like we normally do, figuring that we'd shop later.

No sooner got in than a debate starts between the kids, about the bed upstairs. No way Jill was sharing it, so Seth relented and said he'd sleep on one of the couches. After all of that was settled, we decided, for some odd reason, that Gatlinburg sounded like fun, so after the four hour drive we'd already done, we got BACK in the car, and drove the 45 minutes to Gatlinburg, home of fudge, Ripley's Believe It or Not, and a lot of T shirt shops.

Jill wanted Italian to eat, so that was the main reason we'd gone there. Ate at a so so Italian place (good food, slow service but hey, we were in the South), then decided to wander around. First place we came to was an old time picture place, and Jill asked if we could do a picture. I've always wanted to do one, but no one else ever did, so I was all over that. Only thing was, I felt weird doing a "family" picture, because Thomas was at home, so I told her that she and Seth could do it.

We looked through the book, laughed at a bunch of the photos that they'd done, and told the clerk that Dan wouldn't hesitate to be like the guys who dressed as saloon girls. The kids decided that they wanted to be bank robbers (no saloon floozy for my girl!), so they were in the process of picking out costumes when Dan walked in. We were alone when we first went in this place, but by the time the kids decided on what they were going to do, the place was getting pretty full, and the crowd came to a standstill momentarily, when Dan asked -- rather loudly -- if he could dress like a woman.

Told ya so. Again.

So he hops up on the bar in his fishnets, and here is the end result. Be prepared, and don't say I didn't warn you. I love the first one -- look at the kids' faces. For some reason, the sober look just cracks me up.

The second one, she told them to do something crazy. She, of course, had no idea who she was working with. The Utter's threshold for crazy is somewhat more accelerated than most people's, so we ended up with this:

I'm not sure exactly WHAT Dan is doing. Looks like he's getting ready to shoot his boob off, but whatever the reason for his posture, the picture cracks me up, till I realize that it's MY husband sitting there in a barmaid's outfit, with hundred dollar bills stuffed in his hose. Oye. That's my man.

So yeah, because those pictures are worth a thousand words, I'm not including any vintage today. I'm not sure anyone would want to be associated with those pictures anyway. If you do, message me, and maybe I'll include you tomorrow.

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