Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Put the Machete Away

I don't always get a chance to read the paper, but I try to. I'm not sure why, because I've usually read the morning news online the night before, but the paper can still be informative, especially about local news.

Take the article I read this morning. The author had gone to visit the City-County building here in Indianapolis. In order to get into the building, you have to pass security, which entails putting your stuff through the metal detector, among other things. The security guard had the audacity to confiscate said author's Sharpie marker. I'm not sure when Sharpie's became a threat to local government, but the incident caused him to go online, to see what you can and can't take the the City-County building.

It's quite a list. I mean, after all, when you get downtown and find that you've forgotten to leave your saber in the car, what are you going to do? And I guess that butchers can't go straight to jury duty from work, because they're not going to let you in with your favorite meat cleaver. And if Indianapolis is the sporting capital of the world, the local government must not know, because there is a whole bevy of sporting goods that you can't take in.

I'd say that the hubby is out of luck, cause you sure can't take spray paint, but he can make it up by taking a water gun. The guy likes to take a water pistol everywhere he goes, squirting people randomly from across the room, so he's in luck, as long as it's not a realistic looking gun. Do they make real purple guns?

If you notice, however, there are a few things missing off the list. Machetes, for example. Guess I could get in with that. Paper. I guess they don't realize the danger of a paper cut. Can't take my bow and arrows, but I guess I could take a slingshot. That could be fun.

How does the jury find? DOINK! Right in the kisser.

Our government actually spent tax dollars telling us that we can't take a flare gun to court, so we should spend next year coming up with a list of fun things they left out, then show up with them, just to see what happens. It could be interesting. And if you want to dress as innocently as possible, to try to get past the gate, try this sexy secretary dress from Damn Good Vintage. That cute cross-my-heart-officer-I-wasn't-going-to-hurt-anyone-with-my-Sharpie tie in front seals the deal. I'm just not sure if that metal zipper would set off the metal detector.

2 comments:

Vintage Sue said...

First of all, love that you have a category called "stupid laws"....

Secondly, thanks for the subversiveness! XOX

/anne... said...

'cause cuticle cutters are DANGEROUS!

And just like on Australian planes, no knitting needles or other stabbing implements. Knitting is _such_ a violent activity.

I do like the fact that it's OK to keep your stash in an old prescription bottle. Very cool of them ;-)