Saturday, March 22, 2008

Botanical Ignorance

I love flowers. The first year in our house, I planted a gajillion bulbs, and the next year, hubby planted 12 dozen bulbs while I sat in a chair, watching, because I had preterm labor and was supposed to be on bedrest.

But spring requires flowers. And spring flowers require bulbs, which require planting, which required participation from husbands when the wife is incapacitated.

Indiana winters are awful, and spring is just there to make people miserable. It gets warm, and the next day it'll snow. Two days later it's 70, then we'll have an ice storm. Basically, it sucks. A friend of mine told me her rule of green thumb is that you can't plant anything in spring until after Mother's Day. Ever. Heck, hubby once got snowed out of a softball game on the 6th of May -- had five inches of snow. Our friends were getting married the next week, and were afraid they'd have a blizzard. Instead, it was 70. Figures.

The next year, I was out working in the yard, getting the beds ready for spring. With the Mother's Day rule, I didn't plan to plant anything yet, just to clean the beds out a little bit, and turn some soil over. Hubby pulled up in the van, and proudly proclaims that he has bought me some flowers to plant. I told him thanks, but at this time of year, the only thing you can plant is pansies, cause everything else will die. "Oh honey, I got pansies. You're going to love them." Walks around the van, opens the back door, and opens it up to show me that behind the back seat is loaded with every type of flower on earth.

Except pansies.

The man is, as I like to say, botanically ignorant. Smart guy, knows his paint, but clueless about flowers. I spent tons of money on perennials for years, till I realized that he was always going to yank them up, calling them weeds. I finally gave up trying. Haven't even put bulbs in since the 12 dozen preterm labor ones, which now are starting to get kind of anemic looking, if they come up at all. DD now is really getting into the garden, and can't wait to plant. I hope it works out for her. She'll just have to keep her dad away.

So today, it started out raining outside, turned to snow, then turned into a beautiful crisp, blue day. It was raining again, when last I looked. And so, for hopes of spring, here's a vintage 40s floral dressing gown, from retrodress, on the web. And just so you know, those aren't pansies.

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